I get stuck in-between. I am there now. Stalled. Needing to plan birthday parties and look for a job and face the holidays and make arrangements for spring break. I have to fight the thing inside that whispers that I can rest now. That it's enough that I applied for jobs, went on interviews, talked about birthdays.
Whole days can go by - in which nothing significant seemed to occur. Kids were fed and collected and bedded and some work got done - but nothing Solid.
On those days, there are massive lists of to do's I can't be bothered to write. And I'm stuck.
And the house is still a cluttered mess. And years into the need, I still don't have a couch. Or window treatments.
Two chairs fell off our deck this weekend - a cat was to blame, ultimately. But they broke. They hit no one on the head, which is good. But there they are. Around my table. And I have to wonder, idly, how long they will stay there. Especially given that you can still sit on them, just avoid the splintery parts.
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my favorite phrase: "years into the need" thank you for writing when you are stuck. taking calls when you are stuck. not yelling when you are stuck. wondering when you are stuck. it's more than most think of when they think of stuck.
ReplyDeleteI know that absence of Solid with a capital S. But, yeah, you can still sit on it, surely can.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. Life has a way of drifting to inertia.
ReplyDeleteI've decided that kids simply suck away time and energy. I have whole days where I say to myself, "What did I DO today?"
But you know, the most important things are often not that tangible.